House Hunting and Conformity

My husband and I are currently looking for a new house. We’ve been looking for several years now and have had no luck. Part of the problem is us, and the other part is subdivisions with restrictions or covenants. We started out looking for a lot to build on that had city water and sewer hook-ups, but all we could find were overpriced lots with tons of restrictions. Now, if that’s what people are looking for, then more power to them. Me? Fewer rules in my life would be ok. And these aren’t the laws and rules that are on record with the village, city or town government.

Where we currently live, a subdivision with covenants went up behind us. It has five pages of rules that a person would have to live by in order to build a home and live there. The most ridiculous one I think is that you cannot have garish lawn ornaments. It doesn’t say what constitutes as garish, so that part is open to interpretation. Say, for instance I want to put my 500 piece gnome collection out on my lawn. It might not be garish to me, but what if my neighbor doesn’t like them? Or what happens if you want to put a gazing mirror ball in the middle of your flower bed? What if you don’t like your neighbor’s patio furniture? The other silly one is that you cannot have your garage door open for any length of time. Ok. So, when you are cutting your grass you have to close the door? Maybe working in there and you want to have the door open so you aren’t over come with fumes? And, of course that’s followed with no cars are to be parked in your driveway overnight.

I understand that we have to have laws and rules to have a society that we can all get along in. And I feel that’s what ordinances with the village are for. If I have someone stay overnight, I will park their car in my driveway. Do I really need to build a four car garage in order to have my cars, my guest’s car and all my outdoor stuff crammed in there? We have had several Realtors try to find us houses and most of them have given up because they don’t understand our problem with these covenants. Several were on the neighborhood association for their subdivisions, so I guess they wouldn’t understand my claustrophobic feeling of living under all that restriction.

I’m not sure I understand why some people want to live under those rules, other than they get to brag about where they live. I couldn’t care less about the name of a subdivision, and I certainly am not paying money every year just to live there. Isn’t that what property taxes are for? Do I really need to fork over more cash just so I can state I live in jail like setting that won’t even let me park my car in my driveway overnight? Have we gotten so used to being told what to do all the time that we can’t even have our homes to ourselves? We’ve had several folks tell us to just get over it, it’s not a big deal and we are being too picky. My response is always the same. My husband and I do not want to live with that, trying to remember the rules every single day; what we can and cannot do. Knowing that ahead of time will save us a lot of aggravation in the long run. But that doesn’t mean other folks don’t want to. They obviously chose to live there, so they must want that. Why should we move into that, and resent it, and then get into trouble for doing something that is completely harmless. Even if we find a subdivision that doesn’t have many restrictions, that doesn’t mean the association can’t get together and make more rules.

So, our search continues. I know there’s got to be houses out there that aren’t under dictatorships and tyranny. I wonder sometimes if the associations who run the subdivisions are people who really need to be in control of not only their lives, but everyone else’s too.



Blog for the week of March 24th

math IS hard!

I'm currently working on word problems in my algebra class, and suddenly I find that Barbie might be right. Math IS hard! Several years ago, a talking Barbie doll was put on the market that among other sayings repeated math IS hard and other stereotypical sayings. The doll was reprogrammed to say math IS fun! after several parent groups complained that it was reinforcing beliefs in their daughters they were trying to dispel. Girls and math, for one. I have struggled with various forms of math in my school life, whether it was grade, middle, high, technical and college. No other subject gives me the dreads as much as this one does. You would have thought I would have chosen a career that didn't deal with math, or a hobby that is practically nothing but math. You try making a king sized quilt without math AND fractions at that.

My husband seems to do this stuff in his head, without even giving it a second thought. I'll yell the problem down the hallway to him and seconds later he yells the answer back all the while surfing several sites on the Internet. No paper, pencil and giant eraser for him. This leaves me with the thought that there must be something wrong with me. Why do I struggle so, when he seems to know the answer without even really thinking about? I'm sure a scientist some where has figured out why some people are good at one subject versus another, but that really doesn't help me right now with my word problems, does it? Did he or she find a solution to that problem? Can I just get a shot or take a pill and suddenly math IS fun!?

Until then, I will be studying like crazy, doing problems over and over again until it finally sinks in. That's how I passed my last two tests, and I see no reason to mess with success. Other than the time commitment. Our algebra textbook recommends two hours of study for every one hour of class. I seem to need a bit more time than that, or else this is the perfect case of how younger (20 somethings) learn faster than us "non-traditional" students. Or maybe it's the full time job, full time house chores, and everyday life problems that demand attention too. Do I regret going back to school? No. My regret of not finishing is greater than worrying about the sink full of dishes or thinking I can't finish because of word problems. Stephanie's blog from last week put it perfectly, I know I'm doing the right thing!

I did, however, come to the realization that life experience does change one's view of word problems. One question asked how much Maria could spend on her food if she only has $30 and wants to leave tip and tax. My reply was that Maria should have checked her wallet before going into the restaurant to make sure she had enough money so she didn't have to worry about it. Problem solved and no math involved! I somehow think though, that my math teacher won't think this is the right answer, even if he does agree with it.

Blog for the week of March 10th

Live Long and Prosper

I am continually baffled how one persons activities can be another persons ridicule. Specifically, how Science Fiction and Fantasy fans have been ridiculed for years. On a popular radio station I listen to in the morning, the three morning show people continually make fun of, ridicule and belittle Sci-Fi fans. Sarcastic comments about 40 year olds living in their parents basement are the most often heard comment, followed by how strange and unable fans fit into society, and how somehow these fans are wasting their lives by pursuing something they like.

Constant comments about how there's not something right about fans who will wait in line to see a movie or go to a convention. I will admit there are always people on the fringes of ANY common interest that do not fit into what is perceived as "normal" social behaviors. However, it's not relegated to just Sci-Fi and Fantasy. Sports, Anime, shopping, gambling, gaming, online chats, blogging, car enthusiast, tv reality show watchers, concert goers, etc all have a segment of fan base that don't "fit in". Over this past weekend (Feb 23 & 24), opening day tickets went on sale for the Brewers. How are the folks who stayed in line, some for days in freezing weather, any different than the fans who waited to get into the Star Wars movies or the Star Wars Celebration conventions? Or Comic Con? Or a Star Trek convention? Anyone whose ever spent a small fortune to go to a Packer game, let alone season tickets has no right to belittle any fan of any other interest. Yet, somehow, sports is never held to the same standard that any other hobby or interest is held.

My husband and I usually go to Gen Con. I had no clue what that was when we first met, when it was still here in Milwaukee like it should be. But I digress. It's now held in Indianapolis, and when it first moved we didn't go. We've gone the past few years and every year it's the same conversation with my co-workers. "Why are you going to that, don't only weird people go?" "You must be going because your husband is making you go." And so forth. Truth is, I enjoy going. There's lots to do, not just gaming and believe it or not, there are normal folks there too. I don't pretend to know any person's mind, but to all outward appearances, they appear normal. I bet some even like sports. Don't get me wrong, I like watching football on Sundays just like everyone else, but the hypocrisy of some sports fans is appalling. An entire day spent watching a game on tv, eating junk food like there's never going to be anymore and drinking a silo of beer is just as "weird"to me as I appear to them. At least at Gen Con, you have to walk everywhere.

Gen Con is held at the Indianapolis Convention Center, and last year a Colts pre-season football game was held on one of the days Gen Con was in session. The RCA dome is part of the convention center. Football fans decked out in their best Colts adornments were actually sneering and making rude comments to the Gen Con goers. Why they can't see that they are the same person, just a different event is baffling. Is it because sports is "acceptable" in our society?

When Gen Con was in Milwaukee, the same morning show used to comment about the freaks downtown. A pretty harsh word, and one I'm sure they would not liked used to describe themselves. They, however had no problem using it for people they have never met, never tried to meet or even bother to understand. Yet, these same hosts can spew out baseball and football statistics like Rainman. But here's the thing. Even though I understand there's a double standard here, I don't think they are freaks because of what they like. I understand that even though I have a hobby, well several hobbies and interests that they wouldn't even think twice about calling me a freak, I understand their obsession with their interest and hold nothing against them. It's their interest, something they care about, something that occupies their free time. Double standards.

When viewed in something like the above blog may cause a smile or two, or a shake of the head and denial, but when put into context of say, racial issues it becomes discrimination. Is it any wonder why we will always have discrimination when we can't even leave hobbies and interests out of our judgements of other people?

Blog for the week of March 3rd