This morning (May 22nd) I was wished a “happy holiday weekend.” I have noticed the past few years several things about holidays.
First, in society's attempt to be diverse and to not offend any group or person, holidays that once had cultural or religious meaning have been obliterated by the generic term “holiday”. It's the perfect non-committal, non-significant, non-meaning, non-threatening, non-descriptive way to wish someone good feelings for something that we may or may not know if the person celebrates or not. But if the person doesn't observe or celebrate the “holiday” why would we wish them a happy “holiday”? It's almost as if we need to leave no person behind when it comes to happiness during holidays.
Second, I do not want to be wished a happy holiday when it is Memorial Day or a happy holiday weekend for the whole weekend. It is NOT a happy holiday, it is a time to remember our dead, and specifically, our military dead. It seems that in our rush to enjoy every single second of the summer, society has now deemed that Memorial Day is not for remembrance and reflection, but a whole weekend event to WOO HOO! ring in the whole season of summer. This, of course, ends with Labor Day weekend, which being a day the Unions have constructed isn't really a holiday I observe, but I still get wished a happy holiday weekend for that one too. I don't mind, but maybe it would have more meaning to me if I were in a union. But as it stands now, I really don't care about that one. Mostly, it's annoying because it usually falls right around or on my birthday, so trying to plan anything is difficult because of crowds of people trying to get the last days of summer crammed into their lives before school starts or the perceived notion of winter starting the next day.
Third, when I wish some a happy Easter, or a Merry Christmas, or a happy Hanukkah, or whatever happy holiday is current, I get a surprised look and then a smile. I have yet to have someone correct me, scowl, or be angry that I wished them a happy (specific) holiday. However, I don't wish anyone a happy Memorial Day. That's just insulting. Of the six major recognized holidays (New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Christmas Day, Thanksgiving Day, and July 4th) that the majority of America observes, Memorial Day is the only one that isn't a reason to celebrate, yet we've turned it into a reason to celebrate because, after all, who DOESN'T love summer? Oh, wait, Memorial Day isn't about summer? What? Are you sure?
And fourth, I really want the retailers to stop treating this day as a great opportunity for sales. That doesn't mean I want all the stores closed, but what I do want is for them to stop treating the day as another Christmas shopping season. Anyone who wants to shop is going to whether or not (insert store here) is having a special Memorial Day sale. Just have a sale, don't name it a Memorial Day sale. There's no need for that.
We've lost our meaning for this day. I would also equate it to having lost our meaning and direction for what is important not only on this day, but every day. No one likes to dwell on the dead, or sad times, or what we've lost in life, or be reminded of how harsh, cruel, and mean reality can be. Of course it's more fun to think about the summer ahead and how great it is to have a mandated day off of work. If we're lucky, we can get the Friday before off and get a jump start on that traffic. But that is not what this day, and not a weekend, is about. Society has turned it into a reason to celebrate, because who wants to be bothered with all those depression thoughts of war, fallen heroes, and lost friends and relatives when the perfect grill-out is just minutes away.
To my father, Lester L. Olson, I would like to say thank you for your years of service in the Army Air Corp during WWII and Army Reserves after the war. And to my mom, Ruth E. Olson, thank you for your years of service to Military Families through the American Red Cross. I miss you both.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Cell phones
I may be dating myself here, but I remember when there were no cell phones. It really wasn't all that long ago, and they may have existed in the military, but within a few short years, something that I never knew existed has now taken over lives. Let me explain. I'm guessing that Alexander Bell had no clue the Genie he let out of the bottle as I think the telephone has been at least as influential to modern society as electricity, automobiles, and indoor plumbing. I say modern because I think the wheel has been THE most influential device, but that was invented a long time ago and doesn't qualify as modern in my book. For years, the phone was tethered to a stationary spot and wasn't mobile. When the cords were cut, a whole new dynamic emerged concerning phones, and along with that, a whole new level of bad manners and bad etiquette.
When I was in the 4th grade, and yes, I'll tell you what year it was (1975-1976 school year) we had weekly lessons in manners and etiquette. One particular lesson was on the usage of telephones. Back then, phones were big, boxy, and were rotary dial phones. Push button phones were just coming out, but you had to pay extra each month for the rental of the phone and for the special phone line to use them. Oh, yes, you rented phones from the phone company. There was no such thing as buying your own phone. There was a cord from the receiver to the base of the phone and then from the base of the phone to the wall. Also, for many years, you couldn't unplug the phone from the wall and move it from room to room. It required a technician to come out and rewire the phone lines. Many homes only had one phone and in many instances the phones were hooked into "party" lines. My grandmother's phone line was set up this way for many years, and it wasn't until I was a junior in high school that she got a private line.
Anyway, back to manners class. We were taught several rules. First, when you get/receive a phone call that is all you pay attention to. It was considered very rude to eat, watch TV, talk with other people, do homework, or do any activity that took any attention away from the person on the other end of the line. Second, you NEVER listened to other people's phone calls. Tantamount to spying, eavesdropping, snooping, sneaking, betrayal, rudeness, and being a bad person. You left the room when someone got a phone call, or if you couldn't leave, you would at least get as far away from the person getting the call as possible. If you were making a call, you would wait until the room was clear before you made the call. That's just how it was. The point I'm making here is that your attention was given wholly and unconditionally to the phone conversation. It was bad manners to do anything else.
So, now I'm an adult back in college and one of the first things I notice is that the cell phone is as prevalent as notebooks and pens. They sit on the desk right next to books, and usually the traditional aged kids are the ones who can't seem to get through a class without using them. There is a distinct line that divides the people who were brought up with cell phones and those who got them later in life. And here's the rub. Why can't people make it through a class without communicating with someone via texting? What is SO important in their life that it just simply can not wait until they are out of class to talk to someone? I constantly hear the clicking of keys throughout all my classes and I find it disturbing. And, I've never had a teacher or professor once tell the class that it's unacceptable to text during class. My algebra teacher will give students the hairy eyeball if their phones beep or ring during class, but even he will wait until they silence the phone. Not turn it off, but only silence it. Then, when he gets back to the lecture, all you hear is tap, tap, tap, from that person and their phone.
I had lunch with a friend several weeks ago whom I haven't seen in a long time. As we were catching up, I could hear her phone beeping, vibrating, and beeping. At first she would briefly glance at it and put it back in her pocket. As lunch went on, she would look at it, hit a few buttons, and then put it back in her pocket. Eventually, as I was relating a very personal story to her, she took it out, and proceeded to start typing a manifesto on it. I let it go for about two minutes and then I stopped talking. It took her a few seconds to realize I had stopped and without looking up or stopping typing said, "I'm still paying attention." But that wasn't the point. This was something very personal and it would have been nice to know that I had her full attention and eye contact and not some portion of her non-texting brain. Apparently, I'm not important enough to compete with a cell phone for two hours. That's all lunch was. My phone? Turned off, as it usually is.
I'm still in the 4th grade mode of phone manners. I get very uncomfortable when someone is on the phone around me. This is a problem with cell phones because the majority of the people using them WANT you to know they are using them and WANT you to hear all about their lives and WANT you to ask them questions when or if they ever get off the phone. Do I really care what the cell user is having for supper when they are yelling about it in the middle of the dairy case at the grocery store? Or in restaurants? Or movie theaters? Or libraries? Or doctor's offices? Or any other public place? No, I don't really care about the mundane details of someone's life. I barely care about my own, let alone expecting anyone else to care about them. And don't even get me started on cell phone use while driving. That is a whole new level of irritation that is not only rude, but careless, reckless, stupid, and selfish. Hang up and pay attention to what you are hurtling down the road!
I'm saddened by the loss of phone manners because there used to be a time when personal contact was more important than technology. And we as society have accepted this change without a whimper of protest that we have now lost something that was essential to human understanding. Face to face conversation, and when we couldn't do that, a phone call. A very special something in your life that said, hey, look I'm calling you. I'm paying attention to you. But now, all of that has been taken away. Texting has replaced actual conversation, phone calls are public events to be shared, and quite frankly, what is going on in your life right now is nowhere near as important as telling someone that you are bored in class and want to leave. Blah, blah, blah.
I do believe that cell phones are important, and have used one on several occasions when I really needed help, or really needed a bit of information, or needed directions. But, for the most part, my phone is off during class, work, movies, going out to dinner, when I'm with friends, gatherings, at home, and, well, most of the time. I don't give out my cell number unless I really have too, and my friends know not to call me on it because I usually don't answer because it is turned off. I'm in control of my life, not my phone. I really don't need to be accessible 24/7, nor am I that important to think that I am. It's too late to teach people about manners and cell phone usage, that Genie is long gone. But what I would hope that would happen is that more people will stand up to rude cell phone behavior and maybe, just maybe, we can get back to the priority at the moment.
Think about this, would you turn to another person and start a conversation when someone you are already talking with is still telling you something? That would be rude, wouldn't it?
When I was in the 4th grade, and yes, I'll tell you what year it was (1975-1976 school year) we had weekly lessons in manners and etiquette. One particular lesson was on the usage of telephones. Back then, phones were big, boxy, and were rotary dial phones. Push button phones were just coming out, but you had to pay extra each month for the rental of the phone and for the special phone line to use them. Oh, yes, you rented phones from the phone company. There was no such thing as buying your own phone. There was a cord from the receiver to the base of the phone and then from the base of the phone to the wall. Also, for many years, you couldn't unplug the phone from the wall and move it from room to room. It required a technician to come out and rewire the phone lines. Many homes only had one phone and in many instances the phones were hooked into "party" lines. My grandmother's phone line was set up this way for many years, and it wasn't until I was a junior in high school that she got a private line.
Anyway, back to manners class. We were taught several rules. First, when you get/receive a phone call that is all you pay attention to. It was considered very rude to eat, watch TV, talk with other people, do homework, or do any activity that took any attention away from the person on the other end of the line. Second, you NEVER listened to other people's phone calls. Tantamount to spying, eavesdropping, snooping, sneaking, betrayal, rudeness, and being a bad person. You left the room when someone got a phone call, or if you couldn't leave, you would at least get as far away from the person getting the call as possible. If you were making a call, you would wait until the room was clear before you made the call. That's just how it was. The point I'm making here is that your attention was given wholly and unconditionally to the phone conversation. It was bad manners to do anything else.
So, now I'm an adult back in college and one of the first things I notice is that the cell phone is as prevalent as notebooks and pens. They sit on the desk right next to books, and usually the traditional aged kids are the ones who can't seem to get through a class without using them. There is a distinct line that divides the people who were brought up with cell phones and those who got them later in life. And here's the rub. Why can't people make it through a class without communicating with someone via texting? What is SO important in their life that it just simply can not wait until they are out of class to talk to someone? I constantly hear the clicking of keys throughout all my classes and I find it disturbing. And, I've never had a teacher or professor once tell the class that it's unacceptable to text during class. My algebra teacher will give students the hairy eyeball if their phones beep or ring during class, but even he will wait until they silence the phone. Not turn it off, but only silence it. Then, when he gets back to the lecture, all you hear is tap, tap, tap, from that person and their phone.
I had lunch with a friend several weeks ago whom I haven't seen in a long time. As we were catching up, I could hear her phone beeping, vibrating, and beeping. At first she would briefly glance at it and put it back in her pocket. As lunch went on, she would look at it, hit a few buttons, and then put it back in her pocket. Eventually, as I was relating a very personal story to her, she took it out, and proceeded to start typing a manifesto on it. I let it go for about two minutes and then I stopped talking. It took her a few seconds to realize I had stopped and without looking up or stopping typing said, "I'm still paying attention." But that wasn't the point. This was something very personal and it would have been nice to know that I had her full attention and eye contact and not some portion of her non-texting brain. Apparently, I'm not important enough to compete with a cell phone for two hours. That's all lunch was. My phone? Turned off, as it usually is.
I'm still in the 4th grade mode of phone manners. I get very uncomfortable when someone is on the phone around me. This is a problem with cell phones because the majority of the people using them WANT you to know they are using them and WANT you to hear all about their lives and WANT you to ask them questions when or if they ever get off the phone. Do I really care what the cell user is having for supper when they are yelling about it in the middle of the dairy case at the grocery store? Or in restaurants? Or movie theaters? Or libraries? Or doctor's offices? Or any other public place? No, I don't really care about the mundane details of someone's life. I barely care about my own, let alone expecting anyone else to care about them. And don't even get me started on cell phone use while driving. That is a whole new level of irritation that is not only rude, but careless, reckless, stupid, and selfish. Hang up and pay attention to what you are hurtling down the road!
I'm saddened by the loss of phone manners because there used to be a time when personal contact was more important than technology. And we as society have accepted this change without a whimper of protest that we have now lost something that was essential to human understanding. Face to face conversation, and when we couldn't do that, a phone call. A very special something in your life that said, hey, look I'm calling you. I'm paying attention to you. But now, all of that has been taken away. Texting has replaced actual conversation, phone calls are public events to be shared, and quite frankly, what is going on in your life right now is nowhere near as important as telling someone that you are bored in class and want to leave. Blah, blah, blah.
I do believe that cell phones are important, and have used one on several occasions when I really needed help, or really needed a bit of information, or needed directions. But, for the most part, my phone is off during class, work, movies, going out to dinner, when I'm with friends, gatherings, at home, and, well, most of the time. I don't give out my cell number unless I really have too, and my friends know not to call me on it because I usually don't answer because it is turned off. I'm in control of my life, not my phone. I really don't need to be accessible 24/7, nor am I that important to think that I am. It's too late to teach people about manners and cell phone usage, that Genie is long gone. But what I would hope that would happen is that more people will stand up to rude cell phone behavior and maybe, just maybe, we can get back to the priority at the moment.
Think about this, would you turn to another person and start a conversation when someone you are already talking with is still telling you something? That would be rude, wouldn't it?
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