As I was driving to and from my daily obligations the other day, I had a thought enter my head that left me wondering about it the rest of the day. What is fair? Most of us have been taught from little on to treat others "fairly", but on whose standards of fairness do we draw from? Some things are easy to make fair. You can divide money evenly, land, food, and (sometimes) possessions. But what about things you can't cut, split, or physically divide? The thought at the time occurred when a driver in fancy car cut me off at freeway speeds because he didn't feel he needed to merge when he was supposed to. It was a rare day because my blood didn't immediately boil, but the fairness thought entered my head instead. Was it fair that he drives like that without regard to consequences because he can and did get away with it? Technically, the only thing he did wrong legally was not using his signal light to tell me he was changing lanes. In my opinion it was reckless driving, but as there was no accident; no harm, no foul, right? But was it fair? Is this (supposedly) rich man so used to getting every thing he wants that his standards of fairness are gone? That he no longer considers himself part of the common mass, but because he can't have a private road going where he needs to go, he has to lower himself to drive on the common freeway with people who drive econo box cars? Does he rage because he feels it's not fair to have to mix with the rest of us common folk who just want to get from point A to point B without being killed?
What about standing in line? What happens when someone cuts in line or cuts up to the front of the counter? If those of us had lasers in our eyes that person would be toast. We deem it unfair for people to skip and cut in line. We've been taught this from kindergarten on. But do we say anything? I was at a large warehouse store and was standing in line at the concession bar waiting to get a drink. A man with two small children walks up to the counter and when the employee taking orders finished with his current customer, the line skipping customer proceeded to commandeer the employee from taking my order to take his. It irritated me, and I challenged the man by staring at him. (again, good thing we don't have lasers in our eyes) He looked at me, with a smirk on his face but when I didn't look away, smile, or otherwise give him a "pass" for what he did, the smirk disappeared and he began to fumble with his money and then started talking very loudly to his kids about finding a seat. I wondered at what point he lost the stand in line like every one else because it's fair rule, and what is he teaching his kids? They learn by our example, and if Mr. line jumper teaches them it's ok to just walk up and get what you want, it's only a matter of years before same kids are cutting people off on the freeway because they feel they are entitled to do so. Waiting is for schmucks, right?
So, again, what is fair and why can't we agree on it? Mr. line jumper thinks it's fair that he doesn't have to wait a few minutes to get his cheap food and drink. Yet, the worst I could do was to give him a death stare and not say a word. He knew he did something wrong, yet I never said a word to him. Oh, yes, my face probably said quite a bit to him, and he must have realized he did something wrong because he couldn't keep eye contact and busied himself with his money and kids. But did he learn anything about the fairness of waiting his turn? He knows he'll never see me again so why should he bother with societal rules? Standing in line has to be one of the oldest society rules, yet so many people fail to learn it.
If we can't even manage to master the easy, simple, and elementary rules of fairness, how in the world can we learn to deal with fairness issues on a much bigger scale? When did it become the norm to not only disregard what is fair, but to scheme to get as much as possible for yourself? Whether it's time or money, why are now some people grabbing as much as they can thinking that it's fair to act like that?
