Indecisions

I find myself at a crossroads. I'm having a very hard time trying to figure out what I should do with my work, school, and life. When I started on the path to a Bachelor's degree, I was really sure what I wanted to do. Three and a half years into it, and I'm really beginning to falter in my confidence. I pretty much know no one reads this blog, so I'm typing this out to hopefully figure out what I should do without fear of judgement. As I've tried to discuss this with several people, they listen attentively and then say the same thing: You are the only one who can make that decision. It's a cop-out, and even though I do have the ultimate decision, I would appreciate a little input from the people I've asked. It's as if no one wants to give me their opinion, which means it must be contrary to what I'm doing.

Here are my dilemmas: My wish to get my Bachelor's degree is still strong, however, my reality is not. At part time, around 6 credits a semester, it will take me approximately another five to six years to finish it. I will be done with my Associate's at the end of the Fall 2011 semester, and I'll have 70 credits. But, that will have taken me four years. Next, the tuition for UW Milw is much higher than UW Sheboygan. Given my age, do I want to spend the time and the money when by the time I finish I will really only have ten to fifteen years to work until retirement and less if I want to retire early? Is the investment in UW Milw worth it? From a money standpoint, no. From an educational standpoint, yes. However, education won't pay my bills when I'm retired. The money I put into my education needs to come back in the form of a paycheck and the field I've chosen doesn't pay much more than what I'm earning now. So, why should I bother? It seems to me that I end up unhappy with either of my decisions. I dislike my current job, but am not sure I'll find much better when I finally finish school. And for those of you who then say, we'll you'll never know until you try, several thousand dollars worth of tuition is not my idea of a fun way to spend my retirement dollars.

Do I quit? I will get my Associate's. There's no debating that. I've come too far and paid too much money to not at least get that. Should I just be happy with that? Should I continue with my current job and quit the library? Should I keep both and quit school? I hate indecision, and I hate it in myself even more. However, making the wrong decision and then sticking with it just because that's the decision that was made is also a waste of time and resources.

I have no answers, and I suspect I won't anytime soon. I have no one willing to give me any suggestions either. And with that, I must go study. It's yet another Sunday night and the prospect of yet another draining week gives me no real hope that I will get an answer.