I have to write a composition in Spanish on a movie we watched in class. This doesn't bother me except that I have an almost compulsive-like need to state exactly the word I want to use for the intended and inflected meaning. I've always had that problem, and it is one of the reasons why I keep a dictionary handy, especially when I write. And, well for spelling reasons, but that's a whole 'nother blog. In any case, I have to write about a topic from the movie, in Spanish, and without the use of the internet, friends, family, and coworkers who speak Spanish, and anything else that isn't our textbook, the Professor, or our classmates. I'm ok with that, I certainly understand why he wants that and I would do the same thing if I were teaching this course. We had to do the same for Spanish 1 too. My problem, however, is that I keep finding myself wanting to state exactly what I want to state but can't. My Spanish is no where near my level of English and I have to keep reminding myself that it's not really what I want to say, but HOW I say it. The grading rubric is 50% content and 50% grammar,and no movie summaries allowed. It is frustrating, and I find myself just wanting to write it in English and then translate it. He assures me this is the path to chaos and destruction, so I've been avoiding that very scenario. However, this morning, I woke up and the paper was pretty much formed in my head, in English, and now I'm really struggling to separate the two languages.
The paper in English is good. At least I think so, but what I'm able to type out in Spanish is not so good, not exactly what I want to say, and grammatically is horrible. I think. I'm never really sure about Spanish grammar because it's different that English. I've discussed this issue with my Professor, well the grammar issue and the paper in English issue, and he shrugs when I tell him that the paper is pretty much formed in my head and it's almost like taking dictation when I write my papers. There's always going to be room for correction and refinement, but for the most part, I put down on paper (type, actually) and let it be. And, it's usually after sleeping so I'm guessing my brain just figures it out and then lets me know. I really can't explain it, and for the longest time I thought that this is how everybody writes a paper. When I told my husband this, he looked at me oddly and said flatly, no, that's not how people write papers. I didn't believe him. I made the mistake of telling a coworker this, and she REALLY looked at me oddly and said that she hated people like me. I told my best friend and she looked at me shrewdly and said that yes, of course I would write a paper that way. Way back in the day, before computers, I typed her papers for her. I was a receptionist and could type, and still do, around 70wpm. It never once occurred to me to ask her how she wrote her papers. I just assumed she did whatever research she needed to and presto! there was a paper.
Now, after asking several people this question, I've come to realize that it is not usual, and that it also sounds like I'm bragging. So, I've stopped telling people this and just go about writing my essays and papers like I would normally. Which brings me to this morning, and needing to get something in English out of my system so I can try and write in Spanish. Thus, this blog. My hope is that I can get the compulsive need to communicate in my native tongue out of my system and hopefully finish my rough draft before Tuesday's class. Working full-time through the week leaves me with really only the weekend to get the bulk of my homework done, so I really need to get this finished today. So, purge myself of English and then switch to Spanish.
I'm trying to decide what classes to take this summer. I'm transferring to UWM, and my appointment to register is this Thursday. I'm trying to decide if I should take two Information Resources classes, or one IR class and math stats 215. I had a conversation with an advisor who tells me that I'm ONE science credit short (only six biology credits transfer from my eight and a five credit chemistry class. I need 12 total), and if I want to follow the pre-1998 graduation guidelines (two semesters of foreign language instead of four) then I need two classes on formal reasoning (I already have one). And, apparently, math stats 215 will cover both. So, I'm trying to figure out if I should take it this summer, on an accelerated path and probably less material or in fall when I would have more time, but more material. I'm leaning toward the summer because schedule-wise it would work out much better than in the fall. Summer evening classes, rather than fall day classes. I still am working full-time during the day, so the fall class will really mess my schedule up. The IR classes are online, so that's not an issue. I suppose I could try and take it in the summer and if I fail it, repeat it in fall. I'm not sure why I think I'll fail it, but that has become my first knee-jerk reaction for classes with scary names for me. Math stats.... Spanish....
I can't believe I'm transferring schools. I started at UW Sheboygan in the Spring of 2008, and kept thinking that transfer and major decisions were really, really far away. I'm very glad I went back, and also finished my Associate Degree, but finishing the Bachelor's seems just as far away as the Associate did when I first started. The thing that bothers me is this: When I started I had a very distinct path in mind. Repeat the classes I did poorly in, prove that I can do this, and then try and finish what I started so many years ago. I would have thought my confidence would be greater, but I find that the thought of transfer makes me a bit anxious. I have worked across the street from UWM for 21 years and at some point I should have lost the anxious feeling I get when I looked out my window. But I never did. And now, only a few weeks to summer session, here I am. A student of the same school I never thought I'd attend. I hope this is just transfer jitters and I will settle in at some point, but all the same, I'm really going to miss UW Sheboygan. A person grows with new experiences, and I hope my experience at UWM will be better than I expect.
Ok, that's enough English for now. Let's see how that paper is going to turn out in Spanish....
