Procrastination

I'm never sure why as the semesters roll on by, I feel the need to write a blog when I have the most homework due or test to study for.  I suspect it is an avoidance issue, but all it does is make me more crazy because I've just lost an hour I could have used for studying.  And, I just posted one not more than a week ago.  Oh, well.  I don't think anyone reads these anymore, so I guess it's just for me to purge and be done with my ranting and complaining.  Hmm, maybe that's why no one reads these anymore...

I will finish my one credit internship this week.  Which is good because I want to be done with that anyway.  As a non-traditional student, I understand why they make the younglings go through internships, but for me it was a bit of a waste.  I certainly know how to conduct myself in a work environment, I can supervised myself quite well, and I don't really need the contact.  I don't think I will be pursuing a writing job anyway, so it's a bit of a lost class to me.  However, it is interesting to see other places and find out what is out there.  I applied to Kalmbach Publishing for my summer internship (I still need two credits), and I'm hoping they will find something for me on the jewelry end of the publishing line.  Hopefully, I'll find out this week.

As I close in to the last two weeks of Document Design, I've been thinking about the class and teacher evaluation a lot.  I'm trying desperately to separate my frustration and anger from the reality of the class and teacher.  I have a one page diatribe that I really want to attach to the eval form, but I keep revising it so it isn't a rant and something helpful instead.  As much as I'd love to just rant, ultimately that isn't helpful and will cause everyone to just throw it away.  There are many things that need to change with this class, starting with why it is mandatory for English majors.  It is a graphics arts class, plain and simple.  If you have an English major who is going to go into publishing, maybe tell them it is available should they wish to take for an elective.  It would have been more helpful to teach us the depths of Word, Excel, and Access for our business lives.  As much as UWM thinks it is doing everyone a favor by using Apple and Adobe, all they are really doing is being elitist and short-sighted, and by default not really giving their students a fair chance at all.

As to the teacher.  I just don't know.  I really wanted to like this guy and learn from him, but he is too interested in being the smartest person in the room.  I can't quite put my finger on why he treats the class the way he does, or expects students to teach themselves as much of the material as we had too.  I certainly understand that in college, you do teach yourself quite a bit of the material.  However, in a class such as this, there isn't a background to pull your base knowledge from.  It was very much like learning a foreign language, but without the benefit of being taught the grammar rules or even the translations.  We were up to our eye balls in four textbooks FULL of jargon about InDesign, printing, typography, and the art of visual language.  Swimming in an ocean of printed words and trying to pick out what we thought the professor wanted us to learn.

When I compare this with Spanish, I realize now how important it was that Professor Kendall spent as much time as he did explaining over and over the rules of the language.  Document Design actually made me realize how much I did learn in Spanish, and how little I learned with the DD teacher.  I will never use InDesign again.  But I find myself reading Spanish here and there and trying to remember all the rules.  I can see and hear Prof. Kendall trying so hard to get points across.  And, when we didn't get it, he would switch to English to make sure that we did.  He taught the language.  He made me care enough that I wanted to not just pass his class, but to do so with excellence.  Professor Graham pointed to the books, told us to teach ourselves, and went back to checking his phone for whatever updates he was getting.  And for that I paid tuition, tax dollars, and mental health.

I just hope that over the summer I regain my motivation and love of learning.  DD just about put me on the "I'm dropping out" path again.  And, there were parts to it that were helpful, but I'm not really sure I learned as much as I could have, and again, why I had to learn about 300 pages of typography.  This class can easily be an elective.  Instead, it is required.  There are no substitutions, only one offering a year, and only one teacher who teaches it.  When I think of what should be the core class of this degree (professional/technical writing) graphic arts is not what comes to  mind.  I'm pretty sure I will pass the class, probably with a B if I had to guess as this point.  I don't know what I got on my last test and our major project (35%) of the grade is not due yet.  But I have a B+ or maybe even an A- at this point, so it should be ok.  I just can't, I just can't take this class again.  And with that, I need to work on the major project, get a fantastic grade, and leave this class in the rear-view mirror.  And that, my friends, is non-traditional student winning.

Expectations and disappointments

Yesterday, I went to Sheboygan to drop off the volunteer poster I had made in Eng 439 to my Eng 449 internship's Director.  I'm not going to name the place, but anyone who knows me will know the placement I'm talking about.  This semester, I was signed up to do a one credit placement, which is about five hours or less per week.  He was happy with the poster, and delighted to have something for recruitment fairs.  In the course of talking with him, however, this sentence came from him:  "yeah, she didn't really work out, either."  The context of the sentence is this.  I had asked him if he would be interested in keeping me on for the summer, at a two credit level.  That would have been five to 10 hours a week.  He declined, saying he wasn't sure he had enough work, and that he wasn't sure he'd take on another intern.  I asked about a project that he had wanted written at the beginning of the semester, and he stated that the other intern working on the research found some good research, but not enough for the study.  Then, he made that comment.

I asked him what he meant by that, the word "either."  He looked a bit shocked that I had picked up on that, and he said that he thought if he ever did this again, he'd make sure the intern came to the office once a week to "rub shoulders."  Now, I offered to the point of almost being obnoxious about meeting once a week at the beginning just because of this very situation.  He INSISTED that we didn't need to do that, this could all be done online, and that there was no need for me to come up to Sheboygan once a week.  I told him repeatedly that I didn't mind doing that, it was part of the class, and I usually run to Sheboygan for errands anyway.  But, nope, he said it wasn't necessary.

Well, apparently I am a disappointment.  This is what I did in the way of projects:  I wrote a goal and background statement for an Economic Impact Study.  I combined, revised, reformatted, and made a table of contents for their Employee Handbook.  I made two, large-format posters (22"x28") on recruitment, and I wrote the rough drafts of two grants.  For the last project for them I will design two flyers, a postcard sized hand-out, and a door hanger for advertisement of their retail store.  Through this whole semester, never did they say, "we want more, or we want it this way..."  I had to pester them at times for things to do, and did most of the suggestions when they weren't sure what they needed done.  But, I'm the disappointment.

His disappointment with the other intern (English is not her first language, so research was almost non-existent) is spilling over to me.  I'm irritated at that because I worked my ass off this semester to include this internship in with my other two classes.  I'm not used to being a disappointment to people because if I'm going to agree to something, I give it my all.  I don't do stuff "half-way".  If I don't want to do something, I will tell you.  Now I know it could be said I didn't want to do the internship or document design, but in knowing I need these classes for graduation, I still gave both of them my full commitment, attention, and my "best."  But, that makes me a disappointment.  I'm not sure why he didn't have the guts to change the assignments and have me do the research.  I'm guessing that if one of your interns is not doing what they are supposed to do, there needs to be a change. 

So, I'm looking for placement for the summer.  That will be two credits, and I need to find a place that will let me do a few hours after work for a couple of days per week, or one day on the weekend.  Anyone need an English intern?