Facebook

I joined Facebook several weeks ago, and I have 12 friends now. I'm not sure how I feel about Facebook and the whole exposing every detail of my life, but it is kind of fun. I keep finding people who are on there that I know, and how the typical reaction goes:

Friend or Me: "Wow! You're on Facebook? Will you be my friend?" (Shades of Mr. Rogers there..) As if you are not friends before, you some how have to prove you have friends.

And then the general ensuing of hand expressions and disbelief that either one of us is on Facebook. I was sucked into it from Natalie, who had sent out invites to me a couple of times. I finally gave in to curiosity and joined. I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about. It is fun, and I find myself wasting more than a few minutes on it sometimes. It's also fun to see the different sides of people you think you know. This got me thinking to how we choose to present our public selves to the world around us and how the shield of Facebook sometimes makes it a little too easy to reveal ourselves. And, to be fair, Facebook is not any different from any other blog or personal webpage on the internet. It's the safety of being able to post something on the web, and not having to "face" the other person or persons reading or, in the case of my blog, not reading what you've just laid out for the world to examine. Forever. I find it ironic that people will cry foul and bemoan the loss of privacy one minute and then post something on the web the next. Of course, you choose the information you want out there, but sometimes people can't, won't, or don't know that they should filter ideas before posting.

Several weeks ago, there were stories on the local newscasts about teenagers using their mobile devices and computers to do something called "sexting". Sending explicit messages or pictures of themselves to other people they may or may not know. The story had warnings about not doing this, and telling parents they need to have a talk with their teens about why this isn't a good idea. Now, I realize that when I was a teen, cells were probably only being used by the military, were 100lbs, and cost a small fortune, but it never occured to me or my friends to exchange explicit messages or pictures of ourselves with each other or people we didn't know. Seems like a no-brainer when you take the electronic aspect out of it. The personal interaction required to do so stops you in your tracks. I guess the absence of digital photography and mobile devices probably helped with that , but my point is, just because we have the technology now doesn't mean that some things in life should change. It is (or should be) understood that you just don't do certain things. My parents never had to say to me that you shouldn't send these messages and images to other people.

I'm not a parent, but I have a hard time imagining myself saying to my teens, "you know you aren't supposed to send naked pictures of yourself to friends and strangers, right? You probably shouldn't post them on your webpage and Facebook pages either, right?" Isn't this a foregone conclusion? Why do the digital devices used for such purposes allow someone to drop all sense of inhibition? Or, in a not so extreme example, let people post things they would never say to another face to face? Just because someone may never meet the person they are commenting on in the real world, doesn't mean they should call them vile names or be hurtful. I stay away from chat groups and forums, but my husband has several for HD and home theater that he participates in. The moderators don't always remove posts quickly, and I'm often surprised at the venom exchanged between posters. What are the chances they would act like that if they had the person right in front of them?

While I still have fun with Facebook, and love to find new friends, I can't help but feel it is a bit "stalkerish" when they want me to divulge my address book under the pretense of finding more friends for me. Or that I should just start putting in names of people I know and see if they turn up. If they wanted to be friends with me, or have contact with me, wouldn't they just contact me? I won't be allowing access to my address book, as I just don't think it is any of Facebook's business knowing who all of my contacts are. But, I'm guessing there are a lot of people who don't think twice about that.

So, if you want to be my friend, look me up. Or just talk to me. Either way, you'll get the same person whether in real life or cyberlife.


P.S. On a completely unrelated note, what happened to the term cyber-space?